There’s a famous Chinese proverb that I dislike.

It goes something like this:

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is today.”

Finance writers like to use it when they’re talking about the power of compound interest, and to point out that the younger you start investing, the more money you’ll have. You’ve probably heard it used in other contexts as well.

Here’s why I don’t like it:

It implies that no matter how well things turn out once you do something, they would have been even better for you if you had done it sooner.

That if you had started even younger, you would be even more successful, talented, wealthy, accomplished, experienced, fill-in-the-blank at whatever your goal is.

Of course, the broader meaning of this phrase is “better late than never.” That it’s never too late. That we are supposed to take heart and feel encouraged. 

But is “better late than never” really the right mindset to have when we’re trying to take charge of our own life trajectory? Is this really a logical and healthy way to think?

I believe there is a different way for us to look at our life situation and the choices we’ve made (or haven’t yet made) – one that is more positive and motivating, but also more accurate.

The Multiverse Does Not Exist (for Now, Anyway)

“Yesterday” is completely out of our control. In a sense, it doesn’t even exist.

The events of yesterday are as unchangeable and fossilized as the events that happened 100 years ago. Or 1,000 years ago. It’s all history.

We can’t go back in time and undo or redo what we did or didn’t do. Of course, we need to remember and learn from the past. But do we really want to rely on a slogan that begins by talking about something we can’t change?

It’s almost a subtle way of saying: “Well, it looks like you’ll never get first place, but if you start working and sacrificing hard now, you at least might make it to the podium.”

It’s tempting to just give up right now if you think about it like that – and I wouldn’t blame you. Who wants to be a crappier, less successful version of themselves when it’s going to take the same amount of work (or maybe even more work) than if you’d started sooner?

We can’t go back in time and know for sure what our lives would have looked like if we had “done the thing” back when we “should” have. 

“But (I hear you say) isn’t this just one of those harsh realities we have to face? Don’t we need a cold bucket of water dumped on our heads to get us to finally take action?”

Absolutely. Most of us do need a kick in the pants before our life runs out.

There’s just one thing, though.

We can’t go back in time and know for sure what our lives would have looked like if we had “done the thing” back when we “should” have. 

We can’t know that we would have made it to the philharmonic symphony if we had practiced the viola more in high school. We can’t know for sure that we would have been happier or more content if we had opened an index fund at age 20, assuming the market performed like normal and made us millionaires by age 45.

The last I checked (and I actually did check), there was no scientific way to prove that the multiverse actually exists. This means we can’t do anything more than speculate over what would have happened if we had done things sooner, or differently. We only have one life, and there’s only one reality.

The Chinese Tree Proverb is a useful quote for helping us understand the power of compounding returns (money, effort, habits). It is not something you want to base your entire life outlook on.

Think of the implicit assumptions that are built into it. It assumes that:

• If you had started earlier, all other factors would remain more or less the same
• You wouldn’t have traded out other things or opportunities
• You would somehow better happier or better off if you had done the thing earlier instead of now

Even if all three of these factors were somehow true, there’s still absolutely no way to know that, and there never will be any way to know (unless someone does in fact discover a portal to the multiverse).

Why would you subject yourself to feeling guilt or any other negative emotion about something you didn’t do sooner when you can never actually know how things would have turned out?

This isn’t to say you shouldn’t start something worthwhile sooner rather than later. Compounding returns are a real thing, and it makes sense to start doing something worthwhile now so you can start reaping the benefits sooner.

But dwelling on “what could have been” or “what I should have done” is a recipe for madness. It’s definitely not a recipe for motivation or productivity.

From Middle-Aged Crack Addict to Superstar

Samuel L. Jackson landed his first major film role when he was 42 years old. What was he doing with the first half of his life, you ask?  

Jackson had appeared in smaller films and plays for almost twenty years and had reached a crisis point in both his career and his marriage. His addiction to cocaine and heroin had gone from chronic to spiraling out of control.

He failed to show up to work and lost out on roles. His home life was a living hell, and he was isolated and irritable with his family. Then one morning in the early summer of 1990, his wife and eight-year-old daughter found him on the kitchen floor, passed out from an overdose.

This was the breaking point for Jackson’s wife, Latanya. She threatened to leave Jackson if he didn’t go through rehab. So he did, and he hated every minute of it. Less than two weeks later, still trying to stay clean, he started work on a movie called Jungle Fever, by Spike Lee. The role he was playing? An out-of-control crack addict.

Jackson’s rehab counselors were horrified. They were convinced if he took the part, he would lapse back into his old ways. Spike Lee himself was also apprehensive. But Jackson convinced him to let him have the role. “I’ve done the research, so I know I’m gonna be good,” he said. “Just hold on.”¹.

Jackson’s role as Gator Purify in Jungle Fever was, ironically, the first major role that he played sober. It became a turning point. He realized how much better his acting was, now that he was no longer numbing his own emotions.

That same year, he won the Best Supporting Actor Award at the Cannes Film Festival. After that, he went on to star in some of the most widely recognized films of all time, including Pulp Fiction, Shaft, and The Avengers. Today, Jackson is one of the highest-grossing actors of all time. ².

Here’s the question: 

If Samuel L. Jackson’s career had taken off when he was 22 instead of 42, would it have been as successful? Would he still be remembered for playing characters as iconic as Jules Winnfield, Nick Fury, or Frozone? Would he have stayed happily married for over forty years to LaTanya, his beloved wife and friend who was there for him in his darkest moments?

In hindsight, most people looking at Jackson’s life would probably agree the reason he achieved such great heights was thanks to him making such amazing use of his struggles and failures.

Like most people, Jackon’s life didn’t follow a straightforward path.

Rarely do things work out in a linear fashion. Rarely do we end up being the thing “we want to be when we grow up.”

We switch majors. Have mid-life crises and quarter-life crises. Struggle with depression. Try something and realize it’s not for us. Try something else and maybe find more success with it – but maybe not. (For the record, Samuel L. Jackson studied both marine biology and architecture before deciding he wanted to be an actor).

Does this mean that we’re “failures”?

Or does it mean we’re normal?

Only through experimenting and failing do we actually get closer to figuring out what’s right for us. This means that when we do figure out what’s right for us…it’s happening at exactly the right time.

The Best Time is Now

The perfect life does not exist – there’s no way to get everything “right.”

We are constantly iterating, evolving, making mistakes, and making discoveries. We also constantly get to renegotiate our life and where we want it to go.

Only through experimenting and failing do we actually get closer to figuring out what’s right for us. This means that when we do figure out what’s right for us – whether it’s going back to school, writing a book, or starting our own business making felt needle kittens – it’s happening at exactly the right time.

We never actually “arrive”, anyway. We’re always growing, learning, transitioning. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible to actually destroy your life — just think, for example, of what would have happened to Jackson if he had never gone to rehab. 

But at some point, once we’ve taken care of our most basic needs and have entered the much more abstract territory of “self-actualization”, we start to realize that there is a range of possibilities open to us and that it’s not about choosing the “right” one – it’s about choosing a possibility, turning that into an actuality, and letting all the other possibilities go.

So when you plant a tree, get married, get divorced, have kids, start a business, open a Roth, or quit your job today instead of last year, there’s no point dwelling on what would have happened if you had done it earlier.

Because all the factors in place would have been different and put you on a very different life path. Not one that’s necessarily better – just different.

The right time is always now.

***

Read Next: The Surprising Power of Downward Counterfactual Thinking →

1. Jackson shares a number of interesting details about his career in this interview with Vanity Fair
2. In fact, if you count all roles including voice roles and cameo appearances, he’s #2 — just behind Stan Lee