One of the most life-changing principles I’ve ever encountered is in a story, hidden inside a sermon.

In this sermon, the speaker — a heart surgeon — describes how many young people in his church community approached him, wanting to know how long it took to become a doctor:

“The general pattern would be four years at a university, followed by four years in medical school,” I replied. “And if you choose to become a specialist, that could take another five years or more…”

That occasionally evoked a reaction: “That adds up to thirteen years—and maybe more? That’s too long for me!”

“It all depends,” I would respond. “Preparation for your career is not too long if you know what you want to do with your life. How old will you be thirteen years from now if you don’t pursue your education? Just as old, whether or not you become what you want to be!” ¹

At first glance, this sounds like reverse psychology to use on young people. It’s a clever way to tell them to just buckle down and do the thing they need to do…right?

No, I argue. It goes much, much deeper than that. It’s advice for all of us, the old and the middle-aged just as much as the young — if not more so.

The Bright Side to Our Short Lives

I call this principle from the heart surgeon’s sermon the “Time Goes By” principle — or the TGB Principle. The maxim for it looks like this:

Time goes by no matter what. Things always feel shorter in hindsight. If you do the hard thing now and stick with it, no matter your age, you’ll be amazed and you’ll thank yourself.

A sad truth we can agree on is that life is “absurdly, insultingly brief.” ² If we have dreams and if we’re healthy, it will never feel like there are enough hours in the day, no matter how young or old we are. Starting in adulthood, life becomes a brakeless roller coaster hurdling us toward termination.

There is a bright side here, though: the Time Goes By principle. Because life is short, even hard and time-consuming things are brief in hindsight. This is one way in which getting older is an advantage: the perspective we gain with time reveals how “quickly” we can do incredible things if we just stick with it.

Think of the Japanese lessons or sourdough bread baking hobby you started three years ago: if you stuck with it, I’m certain those three years have flown by. If you gave up, you may wonder how far along your skills would have come if you’d kept going. This is not a plug to feel guilty; sometimes we have to tinker around to find what fulfills us. Instead, it’s a thought experiment to give you a shot of hope and motivation. Things are hard in the moment and fleeting in retrospect.

Unless you are at death’s doorstep, there is still time to accomplish things. A lot more time than you think.

A Double Whammy: Present Bias and Time Compression Effect

Two key concepts are at the heart of the Times Goes By principle: present bias and time compression effect.

Present bias is the all-too-human tendency to do what is most gratifying now, rather than what requires effort but will pay off later. It’s the root of procrastination, a habit that’s less harmful when it comes to things like homework and a whole lot more harmful (and insidious) when it comes to how we live long-term. There is no magical hack or trick that I know of to banish present bias. It’s a gnarly little gremlin that never tires of pestering us.

Time compression effect refers to that mysterious phenomenon we’ve all experienced in which “time flies” when we’re absorbed in something engaging; for example, playing video games. ³ On the other hand, time drags to a crawl when we’re stuck in a cell (or a doctor’s office) with nothing to read or watch.

There’s a plot twist here. Life is a series of events both intense and blurred, memorable and mundane, but at the end of it, life still seems short. Time flies even when it crawls. And the older we get, the greater the power of “relativity” comes into play, making this decade feel shorter than the last decade, even though they’re exactly the same length.

If we live by default, reacting to things rather than pursuing them, we’ll be dead before we start living.

It’s important to understand both of these to rescue our lives from inertia and passivity. There is power in naming things, in recognizing them. When we see present bias for what it is, it’s easier to ignore its siren call. When we understand the time compression effect, we realize that even though life feels like it’s going by fast, there still is time. More than we think. It’s never too late and you can always start now.

Unless you’re on your deathbed, you can still pursue a dream or a new endeavor with time after that for it to come to fruition. If you start playing the piano at age 60 you may not play at Carnegie Hall, but you could be playing at concerts in your 80’s and 90’s. ⁴

If we live by default, reacting to things rather than pursuing them, we’ll be dead before we start living. But if we chart a course toward a dream and stick with it, we’ll be amazed at how much is possible in the time we have. This is the power of the Time Goes By principle.

The “Time Goes By” Principle Is About Happiness Now, Not Just Tomorrow

Some might object, “What if the things we pursue don’t work out, though? What if we just waste our time in the end?” The young people discouraged by the heart surgeon’s advice aren’t necessarily lazy; they just want to be sure that medical school is worth thirteen years of effort and sacrifice.

I have two responses: first, we shouldn’t rush to label any time as “wasted.” What might seem like a failure or a dead-end may be either a detour toward your goal or helpful feedback for choosing a better goal. The only time that’s truly wasted is time spent doing nothing.

Second, the Time Goes By principle doesn’t require that we be uncomfortable and unhappy while we’re at work on our goals. Yes, some sleep deprivation and sacrifice may be required in the short term but any worthwhile endeavor should be meaningful in itself, not just in the end it achieves. The process of learning, practicing, and trying rewires our brains and our very natures.

If you’ll allow me to use a very meta example, I write on this blog every week not only so that it can one day grow into something big and beautiful, but because the act of reading, writing, and seeking is itself extremely rewarding. Each essay written, each book read, each research article discovered is another strand that builds the neural pathways in my brain, shaping it. My brain would look and feel very different if I spent that time reading tabloids or playing Candy Crush Saga.

The Time Goes By principle is a Catch-22. It makes perfect sense if you think about how reality operates, but it flies in the face of our instincts to be careful and comfortable. In the words of motivational speaker and author Earl Nightingale: “Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.”

Following the Time Goes By principle requires us to overcome our fear and cynicism now to become the things we want most in this one “wild and precious” life we get to live. It’s not easy, and that’s a good thing. The best things in life require effort, and the Time Goes By principle will help us get there.

***

Read Next: Don’t Let Down Future You →

1. Nelson, R. M. (1992, October). Where is wisdom? The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, General Conference. Read here. Note: While it’s not mentioned specifically in this speech, Russell M Nelson’s career was as a heart surgeon.
2. To borrow the words of Oliver Burkeman, author of Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals.
3. Mullen, G., & Davidenko, N. (2021). Time compression in virtual reality. Timing & Time Perception, 9(4), 377–392. Read here.
4. Of course, this varies by use case. Misty Copeland came to ballet at the “late” age of 13, so if you’re older than that, the ship has probably sailed. But how many of us have just one dream? If you can be a bit flexible, there’s a wealth of doors still open to you. Most of us underestimate what’s possible.